Multiple roles, multiple hats, multiple personalities.

Having many different 'jobs' is all just a part of life. Depending on our individual lifestyles we all will have different roles we play depending on what we are doing in the moment.

I am a wife (okay, yes, we've already established that with the blog title), mom and childcare provider right now in this moment.

In order to fulfill my obligations as not just wife, but musician's wife, I have a few unique circumstances that mosey my way on a weekly basis.

For starters, we have band practice at our house...in our basement...which is also our bedroom. Brad now leads the music at our church...an explanation of that will be a later post. He leads one band, singing and playing guitar, plays bass in the other. So practice happens twice a week, in the middle of the week, every week of the month with few exceptions.

Did I mention it's in my bedroom???

So that's the rub, for me, because it used to be that I could just 'let it all hang out' in my bedroom when it was in the main part of the house and we could just shut the door and no one would be wiser. I mean, how many of you have your "private space" up to par for guests on a Wednesday? It's really nice to be able to toss a pair of unmentionables on the ground in the morning and get back to picking up the panties at a later date. But nooooo...not in my house!

Let me tell you...there have been times when something has been missed and I've sheepishly kicked a bra out of the way of the bass in a hurry before it was seen (I hope). And don't get me started on my realization one night when getting into bed after practice that our 'personal lubricant' bottle was just sitting on my bedside table for all to see like some proud beacon of our (wonderful) sex life. I have no problem with it but I don't think that the mostly male band members appreciate having to block those mental images. A good and hospitable hostess has plenty of coffee, tea and beer on hand keeps her undergarments and her sex life to herself whenever possible.

Ahem...moving on, quickly...

I'm also a guinea pig when it comes to new stuff. By stuff I mean a multiplicity of things, from melodies to lyrics to cover songs. For example:

Brad: "Do you like it better when I play it like that?"
Me: "When you play it like what?"
Brad: "See? I changed a note here." plays a line...
Me: "Um...so, what did it sound like before?"
Brad: "Like this." plays a line that sounds exactly like the line before...to me, anyway.
Me: "Um...yeah, so what's the difference?"
Brad: "This note..." plays note. "And this note." plays note.
Me: "Um...I think...I like...um...they're both great, really."
Brad: "Yeah, but which one do you like better?"
Me: "Um...which one do you like?"
Brad: "I think the second one. It's got more of a minor tone to it and kind of plays off the chorus a bit."
Me: "That is exactly what I was thinking. Good job, honey."

It goes like that almost weekly.

Now, I'm a lot more savvy when it comes to lyrical content, but still, it's all about perception and I've got to be really careful when I share my opinion. It's really easy to just be like, "You can't say that line like that...it's cheesy.", however, this is really counter productive. I've learned over the years to ask lots of questions (i.e: "So what are you trying to get across with this line?" ) instead of just lambasting my man for using an obscure word or trying to rhyme two words that don't really go together. I have to be an editor/assistant producer with heart.

The next musically related hat I wear is that of Biggest Fan.

Now, Brad hasn't done a lot of shows in the last couple of years, but he's starting to play out there again and one of the most meaningful ways I can support him is just by being in the audience. Even when it comes to playing at church, he really, really appreciates me being there as much as possible to hear him play. He can rest assured that he will always have someone there who he can ask "How did it go?" and who will give him an honest answer but who gives that answer with love and empathy. Our after show talks help him to process his performance, song order, stage set up and audience reaction. I really make a point to pay attention and do my best to help him improve and to tell him all the positive things people said or reactions I saw that will encourage him. It's like being a reporter...only with the subject's best interest in mind.

So hostess, editor, producer and reporter...and that's just scratching the surface.

This is my life.